People tend to be surprised when I express my occasional doubts about my abilities. Which usually makes me smile in a bittersweet way. Because I do ENJOY spreading positive cheer and I love to banish doubt, but I am a writer too, so prey to doubts & insecurity just as much as the next writer. Fortunately for me, these bouts are infrequent and short-lived. Today I am in the grip of discouragement. I’m not easily discouraged, but it does happen on occasion, and usually with my writing. That is not the case today.

I’m in the middle of a blog tour for my newest release, Tattered and this book has been a long journey for me. With all of the ups and downs that I’ve had during the writing/revising/editing of this book, it wouldn’t surprise me to have doubt strangling me about this point over whether the book was ready to release. Oddly, I feel rock solid about the book itself. My melancholy today was brought on by feelings of inadequacy to get the word out about this book. How can I shout loud enough to be heard over the holiday bustle? Activity around the internet has been frenetic. Everyone is pushing their products, offering deals, shouting out good tidings to all. The activity is swirling all around and I feel like a blade of grass in a stormy river, whisked along at a frightening speed toward the whirlpool funnel, struggling desperately to reach the safety of the shore. How can I rise above?

I recently had someone compare my books to food. They are a taste that most people haven’t yet experienced. And sometimes when we haven’t tasted something, we fear it. We’re afraid we won’t like it, that the taste will be too foreign. But then when we do taste, we may have found another favorite food, something we can’t believe we’ve ever lived our lives without. It won’t strike everyone the same way, but that’s okay — it’s why we have variety. There is no doubt that my books are not the average young adult fare. I don’t think it makes them less than, just as I don’t think it makes them superior. It just makes them different. It’s also one of the reasons I chose to take the path to publication with them I did. I knew they’d be a hard sell, and in the current industry upheaval, would be near impossible to place. But I know these books have a purpose and need to be read. I believe in my work — in fact, now more than ever. Which is why today I feel discouraged about being lost in the crowd. But in addition to having the sunny-side-up personality, I also have an innate inability to give up. So today I may go swirling down the whirlpool, but tomorrow I will have figured out a way to climb onto shore. I may lie there for a moment, catching my breath, but then I’ll get up and continue on the journey once more. The books are like a present, all shiny and tied up with a bow, containing the unknown — you have to open them to find the gift inside.

I know what you’re thinking: Who cares? Right? Well, it just so happened that when I went to the counter to purchase my new bottles of nail polish, the clerk started to read my shirt. (I have a shirt with the cover of Misfit McCabe on it) So when he asked, I told him it was one of my books, that I was a writer of young adult fiction. (And this is exactly why I have the shirt – I’m terrible about promoting myself, but if I’m a walking billboard, then people ask and it reminds me to promote my work.)

His next question gave me pause. He wanted to know whether I wrote the heavy romance kind (meaning sex) or stuck with throwing in as much foul language in as possible. I answered the question, and explained about my books (the answer being no to both the explicit romance and foul language questions.) But as I walked out of the store, having helped to educate a tiny bit that the young adult genre extends beyond sex and bad language, the experience made me wonder if that is what has happened to young adult literature. Is that how the general public views the category? Have we gone so far in pushing the boundaries, that the general public comes to view YA as being R-rated?

Don’t get me wrong… I am not proposing that some of the fine writing out there in the YA category is smut or uses language to up its street cred. And I’m not proposing that we sanitize the writing. Topics being covered may be tough to stomach sometimes, but they are a reflection of life. But have we forgotten about the kids who are not living on the edge, who want something to identify with, too? I will support every writers right to write their novel, and if bad language is required by the situation, then I accept and support it. If sex is involved because it is appropriate for the storyline, I will argue with anyone who says it should be cut. But if those thing are gratiuitous, then they need to go. Just like anything else in any novel which doesn’t belong.

I’ll admit, the experience rocked me just a little. On the surface, a simple clarifying question, but its roots are deep and disturbing.

Yesterday I noticed we needed more toilet paper (and yes, apparently I am the only one in the household who is gifted with the ability to hunt for toilet paper in the wilds of a store and successfully capture and bring it home.) I meant to stop at Walmart (across the street from work, so the most convenient place) and get some before coming home yesterday, but forgot… I won’t elaborate as to why, but will just say it has a lot to do with how the work day went. So what, you say? I am a self-confessed freak about having enough toilet paper in the house. I break out in a sweat if I get down to the last roll. It may be strange, but deal with it.

Since I felt so blah upon arrival home after having forgotten about the toilet paper, I didn’t go out and get any last night. Which was epic because we actually put the last roll on the spindle – a true indication of how off I am feeling. So today at the end of work, I did go get the toilet paper (yes, I bought two 24-double roll packs for two people in the house, what of it?) and proceeded home.

As I exited the freeway on the last leg of my homeward journey, I thought about how melancholy I felt and was having one of those “is all of the effort worth it?” moments. And there was a huge line at the stop light and it took forever to change, and all I wanted to do was to get home, get into something comfortable, and turn into a slug. To top things off, some guy in the lane next to me started honking his horn and calling out.

Yes, he honked and called to me. I rolled down the window and his first question was, “Are you the author?” What a wonderful thing to hear while waiting for a stoplight to change from eternal red to green. And before you think this guy is psychic or something, you should know that I have a magnet with the cover of Misfit McCabe on the car door. He was in the car with what I presume to be his daughter, and we proceeded to have a brief conversation about the book and he wanted to write the information down, so I grabbed a bookmark and hopped out of the car to give it to him. (I told you the light was eternal red). We shared a few more words, and finally with a green light we both moved on.

I laughed a little as I moved up to the light (no I didn’t make it through, but he did) because on the seat next to me were the two humongous packages of toilet paper, and I thought of some people I know who would have been embarrassed to have a conversation with toilet paper on the seat. Not me. If I didn’t stop for toilet paper, we wouldn’t have arrived to wait in the line at the same time and I wouldn’t have made that particular connection. So the lessons learned:

1. You can’t embarrass me with toilet paper.
2. Always make sure you have bookmarks to hand out with you in the car… you never know when you might need one.
3. And when things seem dreary, something will come along to show you some light… you just have to allow it to come in.

Oh, and the pic really works for me, because I was having such an eeyore-ish moment, and suddenly the world had sparkles.

Words from Lori This piece was first published March 15, 1998 in the Indianapolis Star. It has been “modified” and “edited” by others and circulated on the Internet, even sent to me several times. Imagine my surprise to see it attributed to some guy named Anonymous. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I take having my work circulated on the web as a compliment.

An Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

• Knowing when to come in out of the rain
• Why the early bird gets the worm
• Life isn’t always fair
• and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place–reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on.. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

5.1.3 Digital Book Rejection. We are entitled to determine what content we accept and distribute through the Program in our sole discretion.

According to the information floating around the internet, Amazon chose not to pull the book because Amazon doesn’t condone censorship. I don’t condone censorship… but this is an issue BEYOND censorship. Amazon is not a governmental agency, they are a retailer who felt that keeping a book on their virtual shelves was more important than the outcry of their customers. In a way, I see the issue as a product recall issue. Over the years, products are released which have a problem and the products are then recalled due to public outcry over the harm they can cause. This is a product that SHOULD be recalled. So Amazon’s stance does not make sense to me. There is a lot of talk of boycotting Amazon, and although they have pulled the title now, in a kind of now you see it, now you don’t, way, I feel that their responsiveness in this particular situation was lacking. It is not the first time the mega-giant has moved slowly to rectify a situation. Nor do I expect it to be the last.

I’m caught in a bit of a quandry, because my books Misfit McCabe and Nowhere Feels Like Home are readily available through Amazon, and not found in your brick and mortar stores. So, I’ve decided to ask people to purchase the print versions through my website bookstore and the ebooks through either Barnes and Noble or through Smashwords.com

If you’d like to read two well thought out, but somewhat opposing viewpoints on the entire issue, stop by Kimberly Kinrade’s blog and Lori Reed’s blog.

I don’t like to use the word victim when referring to my experience. Victim in today’s society has some connotations I’d rather stay away from, and there is the current trend to blame the victim – I am not to blame. I am a survivor. It may seem strange to say, but there are several things I am thankful for with my experience. I was an adult at the time it happened. It was a single occurrence, and not a ritual molestation by someone who was supposed to love and protect me. The person who violated me wasn’t someone posing as a friend. My memory of the act itself is hazy.

My experience happened in the home of a friend of a friend. A group of us got together and went out to have a little fun and when we came back to the house, everyone crashed…or at least that was the idea. I was on medication at the time which caused me to sleep heavily. Apparently, someone fully clothed, sleeping on a sofa bed in the same room was enough of an invitation. By the time I awoke, it was too late.

Even as an adult, my first instinct was to keep quiet. I wasn’t physically hurt, so no one had to know. Then, after a few days, I got mad. He didn’t have the right to take advantage of me, he didn’t have the right to get away with it, and if I didn’t speak up, he would do it to someone else – and I couldn’t live with that. So, knowing too much time had passed, knowing the physical evidence was gone, I went to the police. My reason? I wanted them to know so there would be a file against this guy to help corroborate the claim of the next girl he assaulted. And I went back to the place it happened, knowing he would be there and confronted him directly. (I took a friend with me for back up.)

At first he denied, told me I was crazy, and then uttered the words which proved the sickness of his mind. “But you wanted it.” By the way, confronting your attacker is not always wise, and I don’t recommend it, except for in protected circumstances – hopefully when the attacker is in custody. Confronting him was what enabled my healing to begin. The embarrassment went away, I was able to tell people what had happened and not feel like I had to defend myself for being asleep. I sought out counseling to further help me deal with the situation. And by confronting him, and letting him know I had been to the police, maybe it would make him pause before doing it again to someone else.

One of the things which angered me, and still does today, is how I became a statistic. And the statistic is too high. I grew up knowing my aunt was part of that statistic, and always told myself it wouldn’t happen to me. But it did. My mother also suffered from the ritual abuse by a close relative, and I have gone through the experiences with her because she suppressed them as a child, believing she always talked her way out of it. It wasn’t until she was an adult and the memories could stay suppressed no longer that she realized she didn’t talk her way out of it.

I will always be thankful that my mom believed in allowing me to read widely and didn’t censor any of my reading material. Because I read of girls who had been raped (although Speak was not out prior to my experience) and knew they were not to blame, because I read about their reactions to the experience and those of their peers, and because I have always been able to discuss anything with my mother without fear of being judged, I was able to deal with my experience from a position of better knowledge. Does it mean that I came through unscathed? Absolutely not. No one who has been violated remains unscathed. But I was able to understand the feelings and issues as they came up; the embarrassment, the “if I’d only…” cycle of regrets, the anger, and most of all the feeling of guilt. And beyond understanding, I was able to deal with them. Without books, like Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak, I would not have been able to deal with the situation as well. And no girl or boy should be deprived of the opportunity to read and learn because of someone else’s limited personal opinion.

I’m going to guess that Wesley Scroggins doesn’t have personal experience himself, or a loved one, with rape. Because if he did, then he would understand how important it is to keep the issue in the schools. To show the kids that bad things can happen and they need to speak up and speak out. Or maybe he does, and this whole vendetta against letting parents make the choice for their own children is because he is afraid to speak.

Read Laurie Halse Anderson’s post on this issue and below is her poem of the responses to Speak

For a list of blog posts related to this issue, visit the Reclusive Bibliophile.

I first came across the writing of Linda Welch early in 2009 when I reviewed her first book in the Whisperings series, Along Came a Demon (review 70). I knew of Linda from the Lulu forums and that is one of the reasons I chose to review her book when it was posted on the Pick Me tab. I was very happy to have read the first book, and jumped at the chance to read and review the second book in the series, The Demon Hunters, as soon as Linda made it available to us (review 105). Since that time, Linda and I have become regular correspondents and critique partners for each other, and Linda has graciously reviewed a few books for LL Book review as well. I am very fortunate to call this talented woman my friend, and had the pleasure of meeting her this year on my vacation.

A few months ago, Linda’s Whisperings series took off in Kindle sales and her books were number 1 & 2 respectively in their category. I couldn’t have been more thrilled for her, or so I thought. The week following their rise to number 1, she received an email that she flipped to me to get my take on it. The email just happened to be from Robert Gottlieb of Trident Media Group (number one agency in sales since 2004 by Publisher’s Marketplace) enquiring whether she had representation for her Whispering novels and whether she would be interested in growing her business in the US and abroad. After I finished dancing on the ceiling on her behalf and doing a quick round of research, checking Publisher’s Marketplace, Preditors and Editors, and other sources looking for what the feedback was about Trident and Robert Gottlieb specifically, I sent back my response advising her to express interest. NOW!!

After discussing how Trident would be able to help Linda potentially increase her sales, Linda sent both of her current books, Along Came a Demon and The Demon Hunters to Robert, and he provided some inital editorial feedback. Over the past couple months, Linda and Robert have been working out the details of their agreement. Linda did seek out the assistance of a literary attorney to review the agency contract, which is always a good idea. A reputable agency will recommend you have someone look over the agreement, which Trident did. Once the minor changes to the contract were agreed upon and changed, Linda signed and with a few deep breaths, sent the contract back to the agency. So it is official, Linda Welch is now represented by Robert Gottlieb of Trident Media Group.

As happy as I am for Linda, and I truly don’t know who has sounded more excited about this venture…I think it might be me, the more exciting aspect to garner from this is that one of the major New York agencies is actively looking for talent amidst the self-published pool based on sales. And if a respected CEO and agent like Robert Gottlieb is taking the time to watch the Amazon sales rankings to scoop up talent, then will it be long before more and more agencies are doing the same?

If you want to pick up a copy of the books which earned her the deal, you’d better check Amazon.com fast, as they will soon disappear for awhile. Oh, and the reason we don’t have a picture of the smiling author is that such a thing does not exist on the web. The closest we can get is a picture of Tiff Banks, her main character from the Whisperings series.

CONGRATULATIONS LINDA!!!

Originally posted for the LL Book Review

For those out there who take the stance that since the book is available somewhere in the world, then it can not possibly be banned, let me say hogwash! Banning has historically been done by location, hence the phrase Banned in Boston. Banning is the restriction to an item, whether it be music, books, art, or anything else for that matter, within a locale. The decision as to whether or not I should read a particular book or not should not be decided by anyone other than me or (when I was young) my parents. The decision should be made from a position of knowledge and looking at the context of the work rather than simply an overview of the words which may be objectionable. A current example of the absurdity of banning is what has happened to Ellen Hopkins because of her bestselling novels Crank and Glass which are loosely based on her daughter’s struggle with methamphetamine abuse. Ellen was scheduled to give a talk at a middle school in Norman, OK and because a child’s parents objected to the books and they were being reviewed, the superintendent also cancelled the talk. This is outrageous. Even though the books were going through a review process, what possible harm did they think Ellen would do in a few hours chat with school children, keeping in mind she has given talks across the nation with no adverse incidents. This is a woman who wrote about something intensely personal to her, and would be the last person on earth to glamourize addiction. The books were written with the aim of potentially stopping a child from going down that path, if possible. Again, context seems to be the issue. Do the child’s parents who objected to the books have every right to object to their child reading them? Absolutely. Do they have the right to keep them from being read by other children? Absolutely not!

Several of the groups who seem to speak out against books and want them to be removed, tend to do so from the high ground of morality, or so they think. While not all calls for banning stem from religious zealots, quite a number do, which to me becomes ironic. Most religions have suffered over the years of having been banned or have been the focus of persecution at some point in their history, even in to current day. You would think somewhere along the line we would learn from history and develop some tolerance. But tolerance of the right for others to hold beliefs different to ours still seems to be a long way off.

Let’s continue the fight against intolerance and celebrate Banned Book Week by reading a banned or challenged book. I’m going to support Ellen Hopkins by reading one of her books. Ellen is also the writer of the Manifesto adopted for Banned Book Week. Banned Books Week is September 26–October 3, 2009.

Posted for the LL Book Review

Please note in my above statement, I referenced banning being acceptable from the standpoint of someone’s personal library, and not the public libraries. The American Library Association (ALA) takes a firm stand on the unconstitutionality of banning of books because it violates our First Amendment rights.

If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment, it is that the government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable. ~ Supreme Court Justice William J. Brennan, Jr.

Who is the target audience for the majority of the banned or challenged books? Primarily children and young adults. Challenges are generally motivated by a desire to protect children from inappropriate sexual content or offensive language. While I applaud the motivation, the assumption that the group who wishes to protect our youth knows what constitutes inappropriate or offensive content for each and every child or teen is laughable. Each child’s readiness to handle the content varies, and it is not possible to even designate by age guidelines. In an interpretation of the Library Bill of Rights adopted by the ALA, the Free Access to Libraries for Minors states:

Librarians and governing bodies should maintain that parents—and only parents—have the right and the responsibility to restrict the access of their children—and only their children—to library resources.

Another factor is that children and teens tend to self-regulate. If they are not ready to handle a particular topic or find something within a book to be offensive, they simply stop reading. In addition to this, sometimes the book which has deemed to be a bad influence, may have a positive effect. A prime example of this is Go Ask Alice which is perennially on the challenged or banned lists. Does this book have strong content and language? Absolutely. Does it discuss the drug culture and the effects of taking drugs? Again yes. Those who wish to ban this particular book feel by exposing youth to the content they could be harmed in some way. Maybe they feel using drugs would then become attractive. I can honestly say when I was young, the made-for-TV-movie, which we watched as a family, had a strong impact on me. Then later, for one of my classes, Go Ask Alice was required reading material, with the permission of parents.

The movie provided a safe environment to experience the content found between the covers of the book, and we discussed it in depth afterwards, so I thought I was amply prepared to meet the actual diary. There are parts of the book I skipped because I was not ready to handle the content (if the truth be known, I’m probably still not ready). But, the lasting impact of the story was a lifelong fear of recreational drug usage. Because of this one book, I have never once in my life been tempted when offered any street drugs. Effective book? Although unpleasant in places to read, I don’t have any regrets about reading it and will always be glad I did.

Banned Books Week is September 26–October 3, 2009. Get out there, read a banned book, and support intellectual freedom.

Posted on the LL Book Review

So, what am I procrastinating? Finishing the editing of Nowhere Feels Like Home. I know I have to make some changes, I even know what most of the changes are, but day after day has gone by and I have yet to pick the manuscript back up and work with it. I really do want to finish it and get on with the next book, but instead of returning to work on it, what do I do? Look at other websites, get caught up in reading tweets or any other social networking site, and inventing reasons to call people. Even now, in writing this, I am procrastinating working on the writing I need to get to. Pretty soon, I’ll look back on the evening, and say, time just slipped away. Time didn’t slip away, I ran from the task at hand.

Why do I get this way when I’m so close to finishing? I think it boils down to exactly that. I am so close to the finish line, I can taste it. The end is in sight, and all I have to do is cross the finish line. But once I have crossed that line, I can’t go back and tweak the manuscript any longer. It will be officially complete. I am a confirmed tweaker. If it was possible, I’d still be making changes to Misfit McCabe. So, when all’s said and done, actually finishing a manuscript and calling it complete is a very emotional thing for me. I feel like it’s sending my baby out to fend for itself, and like anyone facing empty nest syndrome, I’m not quite ready to let go of my baby yet. You don’t want to send your child out to face the world before they are ready to take it on and soar. But, I must. And so, I must put an end of this procrastination…and now…to work.

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LK Gardner-Griffie
To buy Misfit McCabe, visit my store at Lulu.com or purchase at Amazon.com
To track Misfit McCabe across the country, visit: Where in the World is Misfit McCabe?
Own a Kindle? Download Misfit McCabe in an instant.
For other e-book formats, visit Smashwords.com
To read book reviews by LK Gardner-Griffie, visit: The LL Book Review